Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Saying Goodbye is Never Easy

"Angel Wings"
B.E. Interiors Photography
1 There is a time for everything, 
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 2 a time to be born and a time to die, 
   a time to plant and a time to uproot, 
 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, 
   a time to tear down and a time to build, 
 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, 
   a time to mourn and a time to dance, 
 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, 
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 
 6 a time to search and a time to give up, 
   a time to keep and a time to throw away, 
 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, 
   a time to be silent and a time to speak, 
 8 a time to love and a time to hate, 
   a time for war and a time for peace.

-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A long "To Do" list sits here staring me in the face as I type. I had so much planned to get done today, but not a thing on that list got checked off. Instead I spent the day doing something very unplanned and much more important... standing in a hospital holding the hand of a man who is slipping away. I'm struggling to wrap my brain around the goodbye process to a man I've grown to love more than I ever could have imagined 11 years ago. No, I'm not referring to my hubby, although the same would apply to him. The man I am writing about would be his grandfather.

Two years prior to getting married, I lost both of my grandfathers within a one month period of time. My world was rocked, to say the least. Both were in declining health, so it wasn't a shock, but I thought they both had hung the moon:) They could do no wrong and their passing was hard for me. Although very different in personality, they both embodied a spirit of Godliness that is priceless... especially to an adoring granddaughter who only got to see them occasionally. Both lived out of state and at least a full day's drive away, meaning visits weren't near as often as I would have liked, but it was all I knew.

When Hubby and I got married over 11 years ago, I suddenly had a new grandfather figure to help fill the void. He's the big, strong, gruff, intelligent yet stubborn/ornery sort who loves the Lord with all his heart. I instantly felt a bond with the man who so reminded me of my own grandfathers. I love him even more for the fact that he knows Jesus loves him despite his imperfections and shortcomings.  From what I've been told, he has a past, but he left it in the past a long time ago. I truly admire his faith in God's love, mercy, forgiveness, and faithfulness. What a blessing to have gotten to know this man (who was more of a second father figure to my husband than a grandfather) in the later part of his life... and to see the evidence of God's ability to transform and heal. Nothing is beyond His ability!

Over the last four years I have been able to experience what it would have been like to live close to grandparents. My children have had a chance to get to know their great grandparents (my grandmother and his grandparents) in a way that would have been only a dream a few years ago. For the last six months, I have actually been able to walk to both of their retirement homes with little guy in the stroller and Scottie Dog on a leash!

It's amazing how unimportant that "To Do" list suddenly becomes when faced with losing a loved one. Take the time to cherish each moment you have with your family and loved ones, because you never know when it'll be your last. I don't know how exactly how long we've got left with him, but I know it's not much and it's slipping away suddenly and fast. This is the first time my children have experienced losing someone close to them and it's difficult to prepare them for what's ahead. It's also hard to watch your spouse (and his family) go through losing someone who they are so close to.

So, bear with me if the posts are a little random over the next week or coming weeks, but rest assured, they won't all be morbid and sad. The wonderful thing is he is at peace with this more than we are and is very sure of where he will spend eternity. I know God has a wonderful plan for all of us and we are counting our blessings even through the tears:)

2 Corinthians 1:3-5
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.


  1. Oh- I know the pain you are going through. I understand it because I have walked in those shoes and climbed those steps. God bless you and your family as you deal with this. I hope he is able to pass peacefully! xo Diana

  2. What a tribute. I am teary as I read. He is blessed to have such a granddaughter-in-law who can see such a positive light in the heartache. Hang in there and know I am thinking and praying for all of you in this difficult time.


  3. I am so sorry for your loss. Your words are beautiful.


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